life has been great!

Better luck next week

So even with a diet pill you have ups and downs! Dan has been traveling a LOT with work the last 2 weeks. He was home 3 days in the last 14. we both knew this was how it would be this month but even knowing and expecting it doesn't make it any easier! SO couple that with construction work on the basement, that time of the month, spring break for the kids, 4 inchs of snow and a husband being gone. lets just say weight loss, dieting and working out weren't high on my list. so imagine my shock this week when I gained 2 lbs back!! Ok really there wasn't any shock, just more frustration from a long week.
The thing to remember in momnents like this, because we know they happen and sometimes more than we like, is to regroup and get back on track! I have a weightloss one day that is great and the next none. I know people say don't weigh everyday but for me it isn't frustrating it is a get motivator!
I think about what I ate or didn't and refocus my attetntion on the things I can do better the next day. I try and not give up and go for the big bowl of ice cream even though I have done that in the past and will admit one day in the last 14. But I will when I "need" that little treat try to still think "healthy" or in some cases "healthier". One secret is buying the 1/2 the fat ice cream and then really only puting 1/2 a cup in the bowl but also adding a fresh banana! It makes it feel like a huge bowl and a lot more filling!
another thing that mkaes me feel better is watching a guilty pleasure show and get on the eliptical while it's on! I have a lot that I watch but My favorite actually is a great show which is biggest loser!! It really is our family favorite!!!!!! MY kids watch it and have people they cheer for! Emma tells kids in her k class at school to watch it, when it comes on, and who to vote for. even though there isn't voting from home ( hmmmmm?)! Anyway, Sam from the show is my HOT, married, chubby buddy ( kirsty ally's big life "term")!! he is YUM and a great person!

SO this next week is my get back on track week! Dan gets home tomorrow night and monday morning I am back on track, with My pills that are in his truck at the airport!!

sorry I haven't been posting!

So Dan said I should have been writing all of my crazy new weight loss down but I haven't been so I am sorry! I had started out the new year determined to loose weight this year. But after a lot of work and dieting and no results I was VERY frustrated! Some people had said I should check my thyroid or see what else could be wrong. SO Dan and I went to the Dr. to ask some questions and do an exam. Dan went first and asked a bunch of questions and the Dr. said loose weight ( actually talked for a while bu that was the sum it up version!). Then it was my turn. I asked about a bunch of things and in the end it was the same answer, weight loss! I said I had been trying with no success and Dan vouched for me. He said something about checking my thyroid and if I was interested he could prescribe me a pill. Now I know some of you are probably anti pills, but I was desperate and needed something drastic! SO I had already been thinking about trying a pill and so I said, "Sweet!!!". Dan and I talked about it when we came home and weighed the costs of taking a pill and what the side affects could or would be. I promised myself and him if I noticed anything strange or worry some in the first few days I would stop!
a week later I took the first pill. It had been a bad sleepless night so I didn't feel very good and was unsure if it was the pill or being a mom. SO I took it the next day and felt great. I noticed a MAJOR change in appetite after taking it which was what I was wanting!
Anyway to fast forward almost a month I have lost 13lbs. I have been working hard with taking the pill. I work out everyday and overall have given up sugar and eat very healthy now. The Dr. did talk about how sometimes it has just a placebo affect with people. I would say that I new if I was serious enough to take a pill I needed to do as much as I could to make it work! So I try really hard everyday to make a difference. I have stopped taking the pills for a couple of days with no side effects. I also have the same appetite on and off the pill. So maybe the pill is just a boost for me in my journey!
Anyway We have a major trip planned to California in April and I am hoping to surpass my goal by then. I started again in jan at 211lbs, and this morning I was 198!! It is great to be out of the 200's! I also watch EVERY weight loss show on TV to stay motivated! Biggest loser is the best ( SAM is HOT!), but celebrity fit club and kirsty Ally's big life are some of the other fun ones for me!
SO I am not endorsing pills or saying they solve it all but it was what I needed in MY journey to a better and healthier weight! Oh by the way my thyroid is perfect!

new year new body!!

So did you watch??

Tonight was the first show of season 9 and it was AWESOME AND INSPIRING!!!!

The new year is here and with it comes new hope and dedication! for all of you wanting to do something about your weight, Now is the time!!!! I started really focusing on my diet on Monday and it has been hard! we have tons of sweets and extra food in this house but I am determined to make a difference this time and really focus! As My husband said to my it is a new year, a new month, and new week! It is all about new beginnings!!

My mom and I also started a support weight loss page on Face book called, Getting Thin 2010.

It is there for support and ideas and friendships! This is not an easy journey and if your like me have have been trying a while to do this and have struggled on and off than this is a great time!

So some of the things I am focusing on are eating healthy ie diet but in a sensible way! also cutting out the sugar artificial sugar and pops (no diet soda's!)! making my own food at home! and when I am craving sugar or a snack drinking more water or eating a healthy snack(easier said than done!)!

Our goals are working out 5-6 times a week, either at home or at the gym! weighing in with a friend once a week! and losing 10% of our weight in 2 months! if we are doing better than awesome and we will reevaluate our goals but for now they are not loft but obtainable and still will take work and focus!!

So if you want a change join the band wagon and let this year be the hottest year ever!!!

"Get up and, finish what you've started!" Bob Harper

Biggest Loser Challenge

If you haven't ever seen the show the biggest loser you should! It is one of the best shows to motivate you to lose weight! Whether a lot or a little these people and what they accomplish is amazing! I am proposing (with My mom Susan) a biggest loser challenge starting Jan 5th the same time as the next biggest loser show. There will be a weekly weigh in and of course a winner! We need ideas for the prize so any ideas are great! Also if you want to be a part let me know! It is always nice to know that people are working with you and you have a motivation to work harder and stronger! So here is a heads up Jan 5th 2010!!!! see you there!

ugh

Can you hear me sighing? Not because I feel great or even satisfied, I am sighing because I feel like I am in the same frustrating boat all over again! I am fat! I am not only fat but I am puting on weight all the time! Since we started the process of selling our house I have been very stressed out! And what do I do? I eat! I am a stress and comfort eater! And right now I am soooooo stressed that I am finding any food in my house or out there and eating it, or I guess I should say shoving it in my mouth to calm my self! I want to be thinner! (Don't we all?) But I am doing nothing about it! I fantasize about being thin and being fit and exercising but I feel so tired and overwhelmed that i am not doing anything about it! I need to re focus but look at my life and wonder do I start now or do I wait for things to settle down? Advice? I think about becoming a vegitarian again or giving up sugar or cutting out carbs. I just don't know where to start. or maybe it's I don't know how to start! Dan is my enabler but I know he wants to loose weight to! He is struggling just as much as I am but his shows less than me! He tells me he weighs more now than He ever has and yet people ask him if he has lost weight because he looks great! UGH! Me on the other hand gains two pounds and instantly look 30 lbs heavier!

Any thoughts?

I hate unposed photo's

I have not been doing well with my weight. I have been "stress eating" and have put some back on. Anyway my sister in law down loaded some photo's for me from her camera. As I was looking through them I saw all of these photo's she( or my brother) had taken of me that I did not realize they were taking. Can you say huge!!! I look awful!! UGH! So here comes more stress eating ok not really but I am trying to think about what I am eating and eat better. I have made no diet plans right now since we are packing our house and trying to get it ready to sell this week. I realize this would be the worst time for me to try and not stress and give up anything. But I have given up pop right now. I thought that would be a small but good start! Again!

Had to laugh

I have been working out at the Y while the kids had their swimming lessons. Dallins is first and his lesson is only 30 min. Then Emma and Aliya have theirs. Since dallin is to old for the child watch and the pool isn't open at that time yet he comes up and sits up at the gym and plays the Ipod. He loves it and I get 20 more mintues to exercise! One day as we were heading up to the Gym, coming down the stairs was this beautiful thin attractive woman. As we pass her Dallin says to me, " You work out so you can look like her, huh mom!"! WOW Can you say observant!

food as my comfort!

I have been so frustrated lately! I really don't have a reason to feel that way but with Dan traveling more, all the kids being home, and me not knowing what the future holds or where we will be in a few months, I feel more and more overwhelemed! Instead of using exersize for a reilief I am using food! I know that is not helping with my frustration because it obviously is not helping my figure or worse it is not helping how I feel! When you are out of shape, loaded with sugar and sleep deprived it keeps you feeling more down and less energetic! I know the solution for these things and these feelings but it is one thing to know another to do it! Some days I am a total hermit! I don't want to go out side if I don't have to! Unless Dan is around I don't know where to go and what to do with out him! All of my hobbies are at home hobbies! And right now I don't feel I can do any of them because if I focus on them then I am neglecting sooooo many other things!! UGGH! Maybe I'm just a complainer right now! I know I need an out! So this week my goal is to get a memebership to the YMCA to try and get some much needed time out and excersize and let the kids have fun and a plazce to go when I need an out! If you have any advice or things that have helped you please let me know!!

I did it!!!

I have been wanting to loose weight but obviously have not been doing it! I am amzing at coming up with reasons for not starting a diet to not working out! After a wonderful vacation in Idaho seeing family and friends I realized I am HUGE!! so once again started researching diets again! UGH! Than after promising to start on Monday we went to a friends BBQ! It was great and so were the deserts! I had 4 rice crispie treats and one huge piece of cake/pie thing!! so much for that "effort"!
But I re dedicated myself today! I got on the Elicptical for 1 HOUR!!!!! I am tired and now have a huge headache but I did it!!!! I did 2.20 miles and 534 calories in 1 hour! It was hard for the first few minutes, then it was easier deppending on the song that was on. But by the end I was dying!!! Dan came out for the last 2 min and I begged him to talk to me so I stopped counting the clock!! I was dripping sweat and smelled awful but felt amazing! I can already see me 30lbs lighter!! ( I wish )! but I do feel good! By goal is 30lbs by the time Daniel and Mandi get here which is June 30th! So here is to hard work and quick results!!!

I Hate food!

I hate food! I woke up wanting to eat something! I looked at the kids eating yogurt and knew that it is a ton of calories! I than look at the fridge frustrated! What will I make to eat???!!! I keep looking at the fridge and realize that I hate food! I don't want to eat anything, because I don't want to make the wrong choice! I want to eat healthey but it seems so hard to go from the ease of a bowl of cereal ( which actually were healthy ones (At least you think they are!)), or a doughnut or oatmeal with loads of calories to trying to make something that tastes good and is not going to make me gain weight!!
so after a long time of wandering around aimlessly I decided to make eggs, with fat free cottage cheese and cut up tomatoes! I loved it! I made enough to share with dan! we felt great!!
So I did it! I made food! I did not succomb to something unhealthy! I ate great and feel great!
Now on to lunch.........

Enough is Enough!!

I have gained more than I was before I started this blog!!
I have been sick this week! And as I was laying in bed I saw a show were three people were dieting for different reasons. The one that succeded was the one that weighed the most! I realized that I can do this ( for the millionth time!!!!)! So lets take two or three!
I want to have another baby but the last thing I want is to be fat and get preganant and get fatter! which I do really well! I also have a brother coming home froma mission and meeting my sister in-law for the first time, in person, and I don't want them to all see me huge!!!!!!!!!
I have Dan on board because he weighed himself and he weighs more than he ever has too! So he wants what I want!! we can do this together!! I am feeling much better today than I have so I have eaten better today!! remotivated!!! so once again I am on board!!

Falling off the band wagon

So I fell off the wagon!

I was doing good but little by little I started to slip off (I know thats how everything starts!)! I haven't gained anything back because I was working ( on the farm) and sick! So I am still 201.2 or at night 203!

I was talking to Dan about this work trip he has in mexico in may! He has wanted me to come for a long time, and I HATED the thought of going! No not because mexico is seriously messed up right now or because I couldn't really use the vacation from this crappy spring! No, I don't want to go because I don't want to put my body in a swimsuit in front of Dan's co-workers!

Can you imagine me with my 200lb body laying next to 4 women who have never had kids and are all under a size 6! Yeah for me!!!!!! NOT! Besides that I am a freak with 4 kids ( only 2-3 people with dan's work have kids and no one else has more than 3, and they are all in there late 30's to early 40's!) I am also huge!!!

So after talking to my sister in-law about this trip and summer hopefully coming this year, I am re-dedicated!!! I am getting on the eliptical and working out everyday this week!!

I need to go shopping but I have some food in the house and no sugar! oh and dan is gone! Which always helps me eat better!

On one more note! I am so proud of my friend Kristy who lost 10lbs! She has reminded me to stick with it and it will happen!! Thanks again Kristy!!

Maybe this weather is making me FAT?????

I am so sick of this weather! I know it is all mental but I feel so down this winter/spring!! I am couped up in this house for days at a time! I only go out and end up spending money! I need a REAL SPRING TO COME!!!!!!!! I sit here tired and overhwhelmed by my home and kids and husband and what do I do? I eat!!!! UGH!!!!!

I Hate food!!!!!!!!!

I hate food! I hate it!!!!! It is there to taunt me constantly!!
I have been in a bad mood all week! I have no idea why! No PMS No I'm not knocked up! I just am mad!! And what do I want when I am mad but good food or lots of sugar!!! I torture myself and think of olive garden and PF changs and well any kind of food! I mean Mcdonalds at this point sounds good! I am starving!!!!!! ok so no I am not really starving! I do eat and make sure I am consuming enough calories to loose weight! But I still just want FOOD!!! UGH!!!!
I know this is mostly mental! I want "comfort" food! I never realized how much I use food to comfort me until this week! I get mad at Dan, I want a honey bun! My house is a mess, I want pasta with alfredo sauce! Someone says something I don't like, Give me a steak!!!!!
So yes I know I need to be good! I know I want to be thin! I know I am Not happy with my size! But it is hard to Know it's worth it when everyone else in your house doesn't!!!
I will be good and I will be strong! Just don't expect to see a difference if you see me!!!

going crazy

I know loosing weight isn't easy! I know it takes time! But there are so many variables! Like sleep and water and time of day and sodium intake! Ugh!!! I am stalling right now! my weight for a week has been 202.4! I have tried different food and had NO success! I have a cold so I thought I could go with not eating dairy for a while. It has messed me up! My routine was yogurt with fruit, cottage cheese with tomato, and normal chicken and veggie dinner! I was loosing weight! of course low fat and fat free dairy ! So I guess I need to go back to that diet! But I am trying to not get this cold!!! Advice??
Also on the whole sleep thing!I have four kids! As all of you mothers know not having sleep is normal! But I am dying!!! Between all these colds, baddreams and peeing the bed, I AM TIRED!!! I went to the optometrist yesterday and he said my eyes have trouble focusing because of fatigue! (I came home and told my husband and he asked if I told the dr. I never get sleep or if the dr. said it to me! thanks Dan!!) I try and take a nap but I am sure it is not a far stretch to hear someone in my house say " But I don't get a nap at my job!"!
SO I am going through my days frustrated, tired, and going crazy!!! UGH!!!

wow fast then slow!!

I got on my scale yesterday morning to see an amzing 201!!!! I was happy but knew that part of it was a crazy day with little food! I still have been eating carefully though! So this moring I knew It wouldn't as good because I had actually eaten. I was right but still happy! it read 202.3! Not bad and even though I am sure I am loosing it in my calves I am still happy to be loosing it! A few tricks to not give in to junk food have been: 0 calorie drink mix! I dumped it in my water in water bottle and felt like I had something while dan was drinking a pop! Also the 90 calorie snack packs! Same thing! I oculd eat those and then feel good while everyone else had a cookie! I packed carrots grapes and I even cut up a tomato and brought it with my fat free cottage cheese! I am a die hard cottage cheese fan and think that the fat free is just as good as the normal! But that the low fat sucks! Weird I know! So here is to still trying during tough times!!

full length mirrors

For the longest time I didn't have a full length mirror! I don't relly remember wanting them to go but one day we had them the next day we didn't. I would often get all dressed up to go out and I would feel hot!! I would look in my mirror ( that went down to my shoulders) and think wow I look great! And THIN!! well we would go out and at some point pass a full length mirror or a window and I would be shocked with what I saw! Do I really look like THAT??? I'm HUGE!!! I would walk away frustrated that I didn't really know how I looked! So after Lilly was born I begged Dan to go to the storage place and bring back a mirror! The funny thing is when He asked what mirror I wanted him to bring back I told him my sisters that we were storing! It makes everything look better!!

Yes I want the truth, but I want it put delicately!

OCD about weighing

I am very OCD about somethings! One of them is weighing! I know you are supposed to only weigh once a week for sanity in weightloss but I have a problem!!! I weigh two to three times a day! I am a slave to it! I weigh in the morning and decided how I should eat for the rest of the day! Or I feel confidant about my loss and have a fantastic day! I also weigh at night and know how I did that day! If the sacle looks to high that means the next morning it won't be good! If it's low that means the number will be even better tomorrow!!! I know that is horrible! I know I should stop and weigh just once a week. But I really don't want to! I like knowing everyday! I feel like if I would weigh just once a week I would loose my little gauge that is keeping me on track! I would feel lost! So here to being crazy!! Hopefully it will not hurt my weightloss but help!!

1 more lb gone!

I am trying hard to keep up with this weight lose! I weighed again this morning and I am 1 more lb gone!!! 204! my goal is by march to be in the 100's again! Yeah!!! 5lbs to go!! and I am feeling great! I made my own dinner last night because they had mac and cheese with hotdogs! Yuck! so I had chicken breast and asparagus! I love veggies!!! so It was perfect for me!! we just threw away the rest of the cake! ( whew!! That temptation is over!!) I want to be thin!!!!! or at least thiner!!